Dear Xbox and my 7 Readers,
It’s probably no surprise to my readers that I’m a fan of Microsoft products (especially if you know me in person). I ‘drink the Kool-Aid’. Microsoft Software, SharePoint, Zune, PC, Windows, etc…
I’m also a big gamer. Since the original Xbox came out, I have always used the Xbox console from Microsoft. With the 360 came some super things to the gaming world. I like it mainly because of Xbox Live. So, let’s just get that out there. I like Xbox, I like Xbox Live. I love playing on the Xbox. Yet at the same time, I hate it. Why? Because again and again and again, it disappoints me with deplorable hardware.
I remember when I got my first Xbox 360 for a Christmas present. (#xbox1). It was love at first sight. And then it broke my heart after just one month by not playing any games or cds. Luckily I had a gift receipt, so I was able to return it to Best Buy for an exchange.
I took the new Xbox (#xbox2) home with full expectation that this second one would work. After all, not everything is perfect and there’s always ‘issues’ with technology products. Alas, apparently the Xbox was going to have more than one in my case. Again the Xbox broke, and again I had to visit Best Buy to return it. I still remember the lady being upset that I didn’t have a receipt this time, but she was so nice and allowed me to exchange it for a new one.
I took that Xbox (#xbox3) home, looking forward to new and delightful times. And I had them! For so long things went well, just over a year. Then I got the most dreaded sign that things were horribly wrong. I got the Red Ring of Death.
And so I packed it into the Xbox Casket (the white box they send you to mail to them), and mailed it to the repair facility. And back it came (#xbox4), in working order! And there was a short period there where things were good, but alas it was not going to last forever, for it decided again that I had a doomed destiny of the Red Ring of Death.
I remember being so angry. I let it sit in the corner collecting dust for a month. And then I realized I had a love/hate relationship with this this blasted console. Xbox Live and the games make for a good time, yet so angry at the same time. Won’t it just work? Let’s give it another go I thought, and so off it went to the repair facility again.
And back it came to me! (#xbox5). Yet apparently it didn’t like being back home, because in just a few months later, it died again. Seriously?! And so I packed it up and again I mailed it back to the repair facility.
And again, back it came (#xbox6), ready for Call of Duty – World at War. WOW! Great game, I’ve had such great times playing it and friends were to be made. I hit level 65 several times. Yet it was on the map Hangar, that it suddenly decided to stop displaying video signals. I could hear me being shot by the enemy, but it no longer wanted to work.
Blasted I say! I had gotten to the point that I had enough of this Xbox and it’s wicked evil ways. So then I had a ridiculous idea of getting a ‘better’ Xbox, and so I purchased the Xbox 360 Elite. I was ecstatic when it arrived
(#xbox7), delusional in thinking that my Xbox hardware woes would be behind me. And I had a fun time playing it for a week, Well apparently hardware issues run in the Xbox family, for the elite decided that it didn’t want to work for me either. E79 Error. Nice.
Will this console have no mercy on me? And so I packed 
them both up (#xbox6 and #xbox7) and sent them both to the repair facility. The guy at the UPS store laughed at me. Actually, they all laugh at me. They recognize the box immediately and know exactly where it is going. The Xbox Graveyard. Which as it turns out, is actually in Mexico. That address you ship your Xbox to, is just a UPS location right next to the border.
Now, I will admit that getting your Xbox repaired isn’t a, ummm, long process. You basically go online and submit a repair request, they mail you a white empty box (the casket), you put your system packed up inside, you drop it off at a UPS facility, it goes to Mexico where they “allegedly'” fix it, Then they mail it back to you.
While they were being fixed, I was lucky to not have to do without, because my little brother is in Moscow for two months, so I went and borrowed his Xbox from his place. Funny side note? His Xbox had just returned from the repair facility before he left for Moscow. heh.
So, today I got home to find two packages from Microsoft. It was both of the Xboxes that I had sent to be fixed, and so returned to me were “working” Xboxes (#xbox8 and #xbox9). How exciting! I boxed up #xbox9 with the intention of selling it a local game store for store credit. And then I set up my Xbox 360 Elite. I got a fantastic, fun filled 15 minutes of play. 
During that time, none of my controllers would stay paired with the system. And then the Xbox literally tore up the disc to my game, and gave me a nice error: This disc is unreadable.
So #xbox8 is now dead, and #xbox9 is getting unpacked. #xbox8 (the Elite) I’m not mailing back to the Repair Facility. I’m going to take it outside, and beat it with a baseball bat like that scene in the movie Office Space.
If this last Xbox (#xbox9) dies. That is it. There will be no #xbox10. Why? Because there is no such thing as a Happy Journey to the repair facility, and I’m not going through this anymore. And I refuse to purchase another one. Ironically enough, that’s what’s painted on the water tower at the address for the Facility in Texas: Happy Journey (Feliz Viaje).
Dan Lewis
Gamertag: Krasnog
